The World Feels Smaller
June Reflections: How Participating in Things Larger Than Ourselves Can Change Perspectives
Lately, social media has been showing me a side of the World Cup that has very little to do with soccer.
Instead of game highlights, I've found myself watching videos of people from around the world experiencing one another's cultures. Visitors are sharing things that surprised them about the United States. Americans are learning about customs and traditions from people who have traveled here from other countries. Strangers are helping strangers navigate unfamiliar places. People are laughing, exchanging stories, and finding common ground.
Several videos show visitors marveling at things many Americans rarely think about anymore: air conditioning, fancy movie theaters, giant stores (like Costco) and free bread at restaurants. I saw one reel that featured a man who couldn't stop talking about the fact that a woman had confidently approached him and asked him out. The comments quickly filled with people from different countries comparing dating norms, expectations, and assumptions. It was a simple interaction, but it opened a fascinating conversation about the many different ways people move through the world.
None of these moments are particularly profound on their own. Yet together they have left me with an unexpected sense of warmth and gratitude.
Perhaps it's because so much of what reaches us through our screens emphasizes conflict, division, and difference. These videos offer something else. They remind me that there are billions of people on this planet living lives that look very different from my own, and that there is no single right way to be human.
The older I get, the less interested I become in deciding who has life figured out.
Every culture seems to have something to teach. Every community has strengths and blind spots. Every way of life offers certain gifts while requiring certain sacrifices. The more I learn about the world, the more humility I feel about my own assumptions.
And yet, despite all of our differences, I am continually struck by how similar our deepest needs seem to be.
Most people want to feel safe and to feel loved. Most people want meaningful relationships. Most people want to know that they matter. Most people want a sense of purpose and a place where they belong.
As a therapist, I often think about belonging through the lens of attachment. Humans are wired for both connection and exploration. We want to be our own person, and we want to feel connected to something larger than ourselves.
These desires are not in conflict.
In fact, secure attachment depends on both. A child who feels safe and supported doesn't become less independent. They become more willing to explore. More willing to take risks. More willing to venture into the unknown because they trust that support exists if they need it.
The same principle applies throughout our lives.
When we feel connected to family, community, friendships, shared values, or a sense of purpose, we often become more courageous. Belonging gives us a foundation from which we can grow. When we know we are not facing life alone, we become more willing to engage with it fully.
This isn't simply a philosophical idea. It is reflected in our biology.
Human nervous systems evolved in groups. We regulate one another through relationships. Meaningful connection is associated with improved physical health, emotional resilience, and overall well-being. We are not designed to carry life entirely on our own. We are shaped by the people around us, and we are constantly shaping them in return.
At the same time, I don't think the answer is abandoning our individuality in service of a group. Most of us want our uniqueness to be honored. We want to express our gifts, opinions, creativity, and perspectives. We want the freedom to choose our own path.
Perhaps the healthiest path has never been complete independence or complete collectivism. Perhaps it is the ongoing practice of balancing both. To be fully ourselves while remaining deeply connected. To honor our individuality while recognizing our interdependence.
To contribute our unique gifts to something larger than our own personal experience.
This may be one reason why people often report feeling most fulfilled when they are participating in something meaningful. A family. A volunteer organization. A faith community. A neighborhood project. A creative collaboration. A movement. A team. A group of friends gathered around a dinner table.
There is something deeply nourishing about remembering that our lives touch other lives.
The videos I've been watching have reminded me that the world is both much larger and much smaller than it appears. Larger because there are countless ways to live. Smaller because we are all connected in ways we rarely stop to appreciate.
The stranger who travels across an ocean. The neighbor down the street. The friend who calls when you're struggling. The person bagging your groceries. The volunteer coaching a youth sports team. The teacher who encourages a student. The confident woman who asks someone out. We are all participating in one another's lives, whether we realize it or not.
Our impact is often larger than we think. So this month, I want to offer a simple invitation.
Find one way to participate in something larger than yourself. Not because you should. Not because it will make you more productive. Not because it will look good on social media. Do it because humans have always found meaning in belonging.
Call the friend. Join the group. Attend the gathering. Volunteer for the cause. Introduce yourself to the neighbor. Share a meal. Support a local business. Offer help. Ask for help. The world can feel overwhelming when we experience it alone.